i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
