I am puke
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
