Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize