I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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