At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Randomize
