So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
