so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
