sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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