I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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