at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
