our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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