found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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