And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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