A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
