Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
