on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
