Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
