PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
