He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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