Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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