so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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