Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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