Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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