he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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