wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
