I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
