i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
