I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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