I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
