i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can't turn off my feet"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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