I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's never too late to be topless.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
