peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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