dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
