I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize