whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize