Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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