I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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