someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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