you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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