Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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