So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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