Your dad touched me again.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
