Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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