He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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