You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize