...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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