Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
