oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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