in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
