She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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