I feel like abortions should bother me more
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
