Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
