she was so not down for the gang bang
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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