she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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