just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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