wakey wakey hands off snakey
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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