I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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