Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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