That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
