: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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