I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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